A Gift

Today as I sit and think of this "gift" that my father will soon give. It has caused me to reflect on life. Every day truly is a gift! Every minute that we share with each other...each smile and every laugh helps get us each through this life. :) I was able to talk to dad today. Sounds like he was able to spend the morning swimming. It is kind of surreal that he will be going in the morning to donate his kidney. Mom and dad have headed to Salt Lake and have a hotel for tonight. I am sure they will enjoy the calm before the storm. Isn't it interesting how in the world before a big storm there seems to be a moment when everything holds still. Even just for a moment as if it is preparing you for what is to come. That is how I feel about today. :) I went to pick up my son from school today and it hit me. I never told him that his Grandpa was donating his kidney. So I pulled him aside and said Grandpa wasn't going to be home for a while and explained to him what he was doing. He looked at me and said, "I wish you would have told me before...I would have hugged him extra hard." :) Kayden had the idea to send Grandpa hugs in the air for now. When I shared this with dad he said, "Well tell him I will use Grandmas bug net to catch them for now but I want a big hug when I get home. " I loved watching my sons eyes light up with the thought of Grandpa actually catching his hugs in the bug net. :)
Today has been a really long day for me. I think this anticipation of tomorrow morning is starting to get to me. :) Just when I felt like giving into the overwhelming feelings I talked with a good friend. We have this inside joke about super hero capes. When one of us is feeling down we bring up the super hero capes and it seems to change how we look at our day. The idea that we have enough power to concur the world puts a smile on my face every time. :) It was a nice reminder that it is important to laugh. That laughing is a great source or relief for all of us.
I have tried to make my day tomorrow pretty busy. So that I wont have much time to think. Seems like the more I think the more nervous I get. hahaha I think that sitting on the sidelines is a hard thing for me. I never was much for sitting out. I like to be in the thick of things. But maybe this is the lesson that I need to learn. Maybe I need to learn that I cant be in control always. I need to turn it over to my father in heaven. Well that's it for tonight. I will try and write down me feelings after the surgery tomorrow. :)

A Kidney for a Friend

This is a journal of my thoughts as my dad gets ready to donate his kidney to his friend Sally from work. I figure this is a good way for me to work through my feelings about this entire thing and always remember the great example of my father. In the scriptures it says... " Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. " This has come to my mind so often over the last little while...pretty much the last few months. Ever since I heard my dad was doing this. I can remember getting a call from my sister...she said did you hear? I was thinking did I hear what? Then she said dad is going to donate his kidney. I wasn't sure how I felt at first...I mean this is my dad. But I also know Sally, the lady that would be getting his kidney so I felt like this was something that needed to happen. So I had been prepared before hand for when dad would tell me his plan. It isn't like this was just sprung on us all at once...dad went through many tests. With each step it brought him closer and closer to being a donar for his dear friend. Now going back to the scripture...greater love hath no man. When I think of what my dad is doing for sally...it just makes me so proud of him! What an awsome example of a true friend!
Dad has always been a great example to us kids...but with every great man comes a great woman standing by him. My Mom has been awsome through this entire thing...haven't heard her complain not even for a second. :) Both are giving a great gift to Sally. One day my husband and I went shopping and ran into Sally...This was after dad had told me his plan and the ball had started rolling. It wasn't until after I saw her in the store that the spirit spoke to me and told me this is what was ment to be. As the big day aproches my feelings seem to get stronger and stronger. Some of it is fear...fear of what is to come...fear that something might go wrong. But if dad has tought me anything he has always taught me to look my fears in the face and stare them down...so this is me staring fear in the face. It truely takes someone special to think of someone before themself...and donating is such a selfless act. This is a great lesson that my dad has taught us kids. To always think of others before ourselves.
I was able to spend the weekend with my parents and to go to church with them...how over whelming the spirit was on Sunday. I had to fight hard to not start crying and even now as I think back on it I have to fight back the tears. The knowledge that prayers will be offered in behalf for my dad, mom, Sally and her family...is...very over whelming. What a blessing to know that we can pray. That someone is listening. Even if we don't always think they are. That no matter what we are feeling we are not alone...we are never alone! I think one of the neatest things is to hear stories from other people who have been touched by my dad and mom. I have always thought they were pretty great parents but the knowlege that others feel the same way puts a smile on my face. I talked on the phone with my sister the other day...she said how are you feeling? To tell you the trueth...I am not sure how I am feeling...hahaha At times I feel excited to this new lease on life that Sally will have...but other times it brings me to tears in fear yet again of what is to come. The last week has been a roller coaster for me...I am sure it is much differnt for Dad, Mom, Sally and her family...but I can only write what I feel. Seems like I do really good for a few days and then the melt down begins. Funny how that works. :)
Sounds like the big day will be on 11/12/10. I think we are all looking forward to this date...because then the unknown becomes the known. Part of me wishes I could be there to help. Even though I know that I will be no help I'm sure...but I have noticed that when you serve others pretty soon your troubles fade away. So I guess I am wishing for these feelings to leave but knowing that they are here to stay. I keep thinking about Sally and her family. I am sure they have been on a crazier roller coaster ride...mine is nothing compared. I am excited for them. :) What a blessing! Well I think I have covered it all for today...sorry that this is kind of scattered...like I said this is a blog to help me work through my feelings and I figured I will take you guys along for the ride. :) See you tomorrow!